I always found Personal Development to be for those who needed help, for those who felt something was missing. What I didn't want to accept was that I couldn't help myself, by myself. My mental health wasn't improving, and I needed to do something about it. I needed to find other ways to channel out all of the energy, doubts, thoughts, constant buzz going on in my head.
I found a community that supports me, I've started journaling, practicing self-care, reading numerous books - mind you none that are telling me how to live my life, but rather to think outside of what I thought my world consisted of. I had been stuck inside my own head for so long, and the outside world was controlling me. My job was sucking all of my energy, and I couldn't fight against it. I couldn't do this because I felt I was letting others down, I felt that if I didn't live my life a certain way then I was failing not only myself, but everyone who supported me.
So, I had to make a change. I had to accept where I was and what I wanted the future to look like. I have a hard time giving myself a five year plan, for loving organization and planning, I don't want to limit myself, as I do have so many passions.
This past year, I fit all of these needs to explore my passions into a short amount of time, feeling I had to figure it all out this year, or I would continue to be stuck. Turns out trying to do 20 different things is more than overwhelming, it's pretty much impossible. It makes it even more hard on myself to figure out what makes me happy.
I am brain dumping daily, I'm reading daily, I'm cutting back on TV time, I'm fueling my body, I'm learning what works and doesn't for me, and most of all I'm accepting that I am in control of what makes me happy, even if it doesn't make sense to others.
This is just the start of my journey. I have felt lost for a long time, not fully understanding what the next step could possibly be for someone who feels such a strong connection to so many passions. It is still difficult to fully put into words how I feel, but I am moving forward. Finding these tools has changed my life, and I will continue to learn and grow from them.
I have a lot of background to unveil here, for myself, for my future, for my next career move. I have a lot to create, to help others who have felt the same way as myself, because I am here for much more than myself, but I have to remember to pour into others I must fill my own cup.